Disclaimer: this is a softy notty ooey gooey post. So if you don’t feel like you wanna have that kinda reading, just ignore and move to the next post.
Only so much that someone can take a “no”. I realize I’m not good with separation/break ups/goodbyes. I’m suck at those fields. And thus making me hanging on longer than I should on certain things.
And as my previous previous post already stated, the naiive feelings or thinking about how this will all turned out well, kind of also becomes a toxic.
The things that hold me back. To just close the chapter and move on.
There is this feeling of afraid of losing. Losing everything that’s been invested, losing every moment that’s been shared.
There’s only so mich one’s can take “No” for an answer. That finally forces me to just end things.
Wrap nicely my feelings up. Stored safely my hopes and wishes. And come to senses. That I’ve got a “no” for several times already.
Just stop having that hopes and daydreams.
And to cope with that, to ensure my own healthy feelings, I re read all those “no” everynight. Before I go to sleep. To remind me, that this is not gonna happen.